Who has the better side? Rating Arsenal's and Spurs' best teams

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The rogues on the Harvard soccer team have been suspended for rating girls on their looks. That’s an activity that has us shaking our heads. They thought that they were little Zuckerbergs. Why couldn’t they rate footballers on their ability instead? That’s an activity that we can condone.

Without any further ado, let’s see how Arsenal and Spurs compare.

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ARSENAL

Petr Cech – Rating: 8

A really solid pair of hands, Cech is the reliable goalkeeper that Arsenal have always wanted. An experienced, title-winning goalkeeper.

Hector Bellerin – Rating: 8.5

One of the club’s most consistent performers, we’re trying to hold back on Bellerin’s rating because he’s only young and we don’t want to get carried away. He is very good, though.

Laurent Koscielny – Rating: 8

God, there’s a lot of eight’s here. But eight seems like such a fair rating to give. It’s a good rating. Koscielny deserves it, dammit.

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Shkodran Mustafi – Rating: 8.5

Mustafi has taken to English football like a duck to water. He’s a World Cup winner and we see him getting better and better. He’s getting half a point in good faith alone.

Nacho Monreal – Rating: 7.5

Arsenal’s best option at left-back, Monreal has grown in stature over the last few seasons. Honestly. Measure him if you don’t believe us.

Granit Xhaka – Rating: 8

The early months of Xhaka’s Arsenal career already point to great things. Tenacious with an eye for goal, he’s a starting eleven kind of guy.

Mesut Ozil – Rating: 9.5

Where do we begin with this fella? Maybe how good he is – super good. The assist King has added goals to his game this season.

Santi Cazorla – Rating: 8.5

He’s not fit at the minute but if he was, we’d stick Cazorla into our strongest Arsenal team. He’s technically brilliant and has a tremendous football brain.

Alex Iwobi – Rating: 7.5

He only broke into the team last season but Iwobi looks like he was born to a part of that attacking quintet. Still waiting on his first goal of the season.

Theo Walcott – Rating: 7.5

At his best, Walcott can destroy teams with his blistering pace and solid finishing. Looked consistent before getting injured.

Alexis Sanchez – Rating: 9

An attacker of considerable class, Alexis Sanchez has the whole package. A genuinely world-class player for Arsenal.

Overall score: 90

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Tottenham

Hugo Lloris – Rating: 9

It’s crazy how Spurs haven’t had to put up more of a fight to keep Hugo Lloris. The Frenchman is a top bracket goalkeeper.

Kyle Walker – Rating: 8

Another right-back who’s super speedy, Walker has improved defensively over the last few years. Like a better a better Rafael Da Silva.

Jan Vertonghen – Rating: 8

He’s formed a brilliant partnership with Alderweireld for club and country. Good on the ball and brave in the tackle.

Toby Alderweireld – Rating: 9

The Belgian helps the team in ways that aren’t immediately obvious. Aside from being a superb tackler, he’s also a good leader to have on the pitch. His very presence inspires confidence. That’s why he’s getting a nine.

Danny Rose – Rating: 7.5

He deserves credit for transitioning so well from midfield to defence. Now a firm fixture in the Spurs line-up, occasionally popping up with a screamer.

Dele Alli – Rating: 8.5

At his best, he’s a roving, powerful box-to-box midfielder. Made the step up from League One to Premier League look tiny. A future world-beater.

Victor Wanyama – Rating: 8.5

Wanyama has looked fantastic since completing a bargain £11 million move from Southampton in the summer. His shift in the win over Manchester City was notably impressive.

Moussa Dembele – Rating: 8.5

One of the most underrated footballers in the Premier League, Dembele is powerful, creative and gouged Diego Costa last May.

Christian Eriksen – Rating: 8.5

The most tactically intelligent player in that Spurs team? Maybe. Looks a bit like a cartoon hedgehog. Or maybe we’ve never seen a hedgehog. We forget.

Erik Lamela – Rating: 8

Remember how crap Lamela was in his first season in England? Well, now he’s actually rather good. So much so that eight kind of makes us feel guilty.

Harry Kane – Rating: 9

He’s one of their own and Kane scored more than 20 goals in successive seasons. That’s pretty much the definition of world class.

Overall score: 92.5

SPURS WIN THE STRONGEST ELEVEN FIGHT

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